Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Grown-Up Way

What do you do when your life gets disrupted?  How about when something changes everything you thought you knew? 

As you know, I've been trying to be graceful and grown-up when life throws me a curve ball. In fact, I think I've identified a process that will help me handle the unexpected in a way that feels wise.

It seems to me that the following steps will help me cope;

1) Adrenaline rush - fight or flight shows up as fear and anger and the best thing for me is to wait it out.  Don't talk, don't act ... just let this very real physical response pass.

2) Reach out and connect with others.  Acting alone doesn't work for me.  Community does.

3) Turn the high emotion off to get things done.  Living in the present moment allows me to meet my responsibilities to others.

4) If the emotion is still roiling, when I have a quiet, solitary moment, I let it live and steer toward the pain so the authentic emotion is neither ignored nor stuffed.  Letting it breathe allows it to fade away.

5) Then I do a personal check and ask "what's my plan?".  If I start my "busy-ness" before the emotional work, I know it's just denial.

6) Be quiet and listen to the others involved.  Most often, others are adapting too.

7) Wait in a place of power using a strong mantra to keep the anxiety down.  The outcome may not be in my control, but the space in which I sit while I wait certainly is.

Thanks to Roxanne for her help in identifying this process ... she's been helping me grow up since 1977 :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Brilliant overview. So true, and this makes it clearer as a natural process.

And, thanks for helping me grow since '77 too. ;-)