Friday, February 13, 2009

Head and Heart Together

Are there patterns in your life that show up again and again? Here's one of mine - my head knows one thing, but my heart feels another. I get frustrated when they are not in alignment, but I recently learned something about this that I want to share.

I learned that, instead of waiting for the "click" of alignment between the two, I can allow one or the other to take the lead in my life depending on which one is the most authentic.

Here is an example of this cycle that I keep revisiting. My head knows that despite the economic turmoil going on around us, my family will be fine. No matter what financial stress we might face (i.e. Craig could get laid off) we will function fine in the face of that uncertainty. My head knows this is the case. My heart? Not exactly.

I've been waking up in the night recently (usually to help out Mya) and when I'm trying to get back to sleep, I notice anxiety about money and the economy. I am worried, nervous and pressured by the circumstances I see in the larger world.

My pattern is usually to notice the disparity between head and heart and be annoyed that my emotions seem so silly. I have learned that I function better if I allow my feelings to develop. If I deny them, I merely prolong the process.

In this example, after a check in with myself, I know that my head is the smart one in this case. My heart is being forced to feel things that are not in fact true. The media and all the hype are swaying my heart and my head is doing the responsible job of keeping me on the right path.

In this case, I plan to let my head take the lead. My feelings are valuable, but they are not true. If I am easy with myself and allow my feelings some space to breath, I can stop viewing my feelings as weakness. They just are.

At least realizing that I am being manipulated by outside forces allows me to shut them down because I know they are false. I can see how the constant bombardment is keeping the feelings alive.

If they continue to make nighttime appearances, my plan is to talk myself out of them. Even if I never fully succeed at knowing in my heart and my head that my family will be safe, knowing it in my head will suffice. If I treat my feelings as I would a small child, I can be vigilant about reminding myself to disregard their intensity. If I have to do it over and over, so be it.

I thought I had to wait and wait for my heart to catch up with my head and I have been mad that it hasn't been happening. Now I get that the fear may always show up around this issue. Knowing that, I can allow the "smart" one to lead. Sometimes the smarter organ is my heart, but this time, I'm listening to my head. We will be fine - my family, my heart and my head.

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